Tag: relationship

The Authenticity Experiment, the early morning drive edition.  Just five days after I’d won the Oregon Book Award, I still floated somewhere above my body.  Or, if I inhabited my skin sack (thank you, Lidia Yuknavitch for that evocative phrase), my brain and emotions lingered somewhere else.  You know what I mean, you do—the way your body refuses to inhabit a truth.  An award for my book?  Totally unbelievable. And at 7:30 a.m. that Saturday, I drove my alien green Kia Soul on the two-lane road through the blooming vineyards and orchards of Yamhill County, on my way to the…

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The Authenticity Experiment, the velocity made good edition.  Sometimes we are given the great gift of seeing the velocity made good in our lives. This is a term from sailing that describes the actual speed a vessel is making on its intended course.  Because they must tack back and forth, submitting to the vagaries of the wind, sailors track velocity made good, that is: true progress based on all the zigs and zags, dog legs, and random turns you make in order to catch the wind. A few weeks ago I got to spend time with a woman who—in many ways—was…

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The Authenticity Experiment, the Western Weekend Edition.  As a kid, I went to Western Weekend in rural Marin County, in a town without a stoplight or a sit-down McDonald’s.  I didn’t ride the Ferris Wheel because the swinging cars gave me crawl up and a fear that I’d flip out—literally and figuratively—and plummet to my death. Strangely, though, I did ride the Zipper, me alone in a car.  A blue one, I think, but that could just be an artifact of my imagination because now blue is my favorite color.  Two of my other friends rode along, each of us…

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The Authenticity Experiment, the lifetime grieving edition.  The Alaskan Poet said to me, “I’m beginning to think that grieving is a lifetime process. AND I also think that it’s possible to be at peace with that and just realize that you can grieve and move forward.”  And, I think she’s right. It’s no surprise to find grief here—thoughts about it, stories about it, rants and rages about it.  But there’s a particular grief I’ve been thinking about.  Last week, two of my oldest, dearest friends—sisters—lost their child and nephew. Yeah, a 25 year-old kid. The Opera Singer used to say,…

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The Authenticity Experiment, the mostly anxiety anniversary edition.  My friend Lesbiana Profundis, aka my secret weapon, laughs at my Rainman-like ability with dates.  Take  July 20th, for instance.  A year and two days ago, I began the Authenticity Experiment.  AE was a writing challenge for myself—to see if I could be authentic and tell the truth on social media.  Here’s the lead from that very first post: “I’m posting this to kick off my own personal FB Balance Month. I’ve been thinking a lot about how we use the FB to post our good news (book), our fun times (Cycle…

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The Authenticity Experiment, the friend edition. I said to my friend Biz, “I don’t have any new friends.  In fact, I have hardly anybody at all that I do anything with.”  It might have been the tiniest hyperbolic, but only just barely.  And so, lately, even though she isn’t on the Facebook, she’ll remind me of things I’ve done with my friends.  “Oh, was that not a friend you went to the Portland Center Stage with last week?”  Or, “Did you do that ride alone?  Oh, right, you were with a friend.  Did I get that right?”  Then there’s, “Were…

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